Exhibit A

Notes from the daily life of a medical student in Cork. 92.5% fact and 7.5% fiction.

Virginity (My Homework)

A lady of 37 years came in to discuss smear tests with her GP. She asked is it necessary to get done and then shyly explained that she was not sexually active.

The doctor asked, a little quickly perhaps, “Never?”

“Never.”

She looked down as she replied. She was embarrassed. I don’t know if she was embarrassed to be talking about her sexual habits in general or whether she was embarrassed that she had never had sex.

I admit to being a little shocked by this admission. Sex is everywhere. On the television show ‘Sex in the City’ ladies in their late thirties and forties are portrayed raving about a night of carpet burns or complaining that they’ve had to go a week without sex. Sex has become a symbol of the good life, of fulfillment. Like learning to drive it has associations with some unformalised “coming of age” ritual. Our sexually liberated culture has made it embarrassing to talk about abstinence or even the lack of opportunity.

I remembered the moments before the lady came in: the doctor read her file and said, “Ah yes, I know this girl.” Girl. Is it odd to refer to a 37 year old as a girl?

And so begins a stream of questions that tell me more about my own preconceptions than anything else. At 37 has that ship sailed for this woman? Is it a sad thing? Is it admirable? Is it just a thing? Trivial?

It highlights a transition between ideologies. I think. Has there been a real change in societal norms or am I just a deluded inhabitant of the liberal bubble that is college life? Are most people engaging in sexual relations outside marriage? Or just some people? The majority or the minority? The universal vaccination of girls against HPV would suggest that this is a substantial risk that most people take or at least a substantial risk that most people are projected to take.

If it is unusual, is it also worrying? Is it something we should take note of and perhaps explore further? Is this something that we will consider as a red flag in the future if these libertine trends continue? Will it become indicative of a potential social difficulty or a distressing psychological block?

  1. sachiel said: The way society and media are repeatedly ramming the idea down this woman’s throat must make it a horrific thing to deal with. Her reaction seems to suggest it’s involuntary, but who knows.. I found virginity hard enough to deal with at age 17 =/
  2. nsomn said: This raises a lot of really interesting questions! I began writing a long reply, but Tumblr tells me I have to limit myself. Oh, well.
  3. kitey posted this